Love & Loyalty: Book I Love
by Ihu la Seraphita
Summary: In the waking of Voldemort’s First Wizarding War, Narcissa Black grows up as the youngest of three sisters, suffering from her undesired love for Lucius Malfoy. A story about love, family and growing up in a time of war and betrayal.
1. Preface

**PREFACE:_A FEW WORDS FROM THE AUTHOR_**

**  
DRAMATIS PERSONAE**

**Abraxas Malfoy,** _father of Lucius Malfoy_  
**Alecto Carrow, **_Death Eater_  
**Alphard Black, **_brother of Cygnus Black_  
**Amadeus Parkinson,**_ Hogwarts student_  
**Amycus Carrow, **_Death Eater_  
**Andromeda (Black) Tonks,** _wife of Ted Tonks_  
**Augustus Rockwood, **_Death Eater_  
**Barty Crouch Jr., **_Death Eater_  
**Bellatrix (Black) Lestrange,** _wife of Rodolphus Lestrange, Death Eater_  
**Cassiopeia Black,** _sister of Pollux Black_  
**Cygnus Black II.,** _father of Bellatrix, Andromeda & Narcissa Black_  
**Eridanus Lestrange,**_father of Rodolphus & Rabastan Lestrange_  
**Dierna (Goyle) Rosier,**_ wife of Macellius Rosier_  
**Druella (Rosier) Black,** _mother of Bellatrix, Andromeda & Narcissa Black_  
**Fenrir Greyback,**_ Werewolf, Death Eater_  
**Igor Karkaroff, **_Death Eater_  
**Irma Black,** _mother of Cygnus Black_  
**Lucius Malfoy,** _son of Abraxas & Elphaba Malfoy, Death Eater_  
**Macellius Rosier**_, brother of Druella Black_  
**Narcissa Black,**_ Hogwarts student, daughter of Druella & Cygnus Black_  
**Orion Black,** _father of Sirius & Regulus_  
**Penthesilea Ebersole,**_ Hogwarts student_  
**Pollux Black,** _father of Cygnus, Walburga and Alphard_  
**Rabastan Lestrange,**_ brother of Rodolphus, Death Eater_  
**Regulus Arcturus Black,** _Hogwarts student, Death Eater_  
**Rodolphus Lestrange,** _husband of Bellatrix Lestrange, Death Eater_  
**Severus Snape,** _Hogwarts student, Death Eater_  
**Sirius Black,** _Hogwarts student, member of the Order or the Phoenix_  
**Ted Tonks,** _husband of Andromeda Tonks_  
**Voldemort (Tom Marvolo Riddle),**_the Dark Lord_  
**Walburga Black,**_mother of Sirius & Regulus, sister of Cygnus & Alphard  
_

**  
SUMMARY  
**_  
_You can find the complete family tree of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black at the calm before the  
storm: He Who Must Not Be Named and his attendants act covered in shadows. In the waking of Voldemort's  
First Wizarding War, Narcissa Black grows up as the youngest of three sisters, descendant to the Noble and  
Most Ancient House of Black, suffering from an undesired and cold love. But all too soon, she has to realise  
that her family is going through dark times, although her parents struggle to maintain the Black family's pure  
blood and honour. So, Cygnus and Druella Black offer her the choice between the desires of her heart and the  
principles and ideals of her family. Either way, she will find love – and loss.

**A FEW WORDS FROM THE AUTHOR**

This piece of fanfiction was ought to be a mixture of a Lucius & Narcissa love story and a Black family chronicle.  
I started it as a plain translation of the German fiction _'Get rich or die trying'_ by Ayu & Ihu Production – which  
broaches the same issues – but during the process, I widely extended the story and added scenes that weren't  
present in the original, until it became an entirely new fanfiction.

Regulus turned out to be less schizophrenic, but more artistic and creative, and I softened Bellatrix's role as the evil  
older sister. Furthermore, I focused more on Lucius's and Bellatrix's motives that made the two of them chose to  
become Death Eaters. I gathered my thoughts around the question: 'Are people born wicked or did they have  
wickedness thrust upon them?'

And - because I've been asked about it and I know that it is considered to be a rather sensitive topic among the Potter-  
verse - I'd like to explain the role of marriages in the story. Referring to J.K. Rowling, Bellatrix agreed to marrying  
Rodolphus, because it was expected of her. I clung to this statement, though the relationship between Druella and her  
children might be portraited differently. To me, Druella Black is kind of match-maker who picks several candidate  
husbands for her daughters. Still, the Lestrange marriage is on Bellatrix's choice rather than betrothal. The reasons  
will be explained during the course of the fanfiction and is closley connected to her careet as a Death Eater. 

So, I just tried to keep the entire story as In-Canon and In-Character as possible. Still, I'd appreciate reviews of any  
kind. I wanted to share this story with you, so, I am glad, if you let me know what you think of it, whether your  
opinion is positive or negative. Thanks to everyone who took his or her time to give comment on _'Love & Loyalty'_  
in advance

Besides _'Harry Potter'_-series, Marion Zimmer Bradley's _'The Mists of Avalon'_ and Gregory Maguire's 'Wicked: The_  
Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West'_ had a major impact on my writings and influenced and inspired this  
story tremendously. I placed my many small tributes to both _'Avalon'_ and _'Wicked'_ throughout the story, like naming  
Lucius' mother Elphaba, after the protagonist of Maguire's novel.

Special Thanks to _elyearu_ from the Ink Archive who did a great beta on the chapters. I really appreciate your work,  
because my English is so extremely miserable! XD

**Most Inspiring Songs for 'Love & Loyalty**** I'**

Nightwish _"The Poet and the Pendulum"_  
Wicked the Musical _"No-one Mourns the Wicked"_  
Wicked the Musical _"No Good Deed"_  
Shivaree _"Goodnight Moon"_  
Nightwish _"Amaranth"_  
Nightwish _"Bye Bye Beautiful"_  
Nightwish _"Cadence of her Last Breath"_  
Celtic Woman _"The Sky and the Dawn and the Sun"_  
Celtic Woman _"Newgrange"_  
Creed_ "My Sacrifice"_

**DISCLAIMER**

This is an unofficial, non profit fanfiction, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury  
Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images  
is neither claimed nor implied. This story remains the property of its author and must not be copied in any form without her  
consent.

* * *

Original character 


	2. A Youthful Dream

_I would  
Love you ten years before the Flood,  
And you should, if you please, refuse  
Till the conversion of the Jews.  
My vegetable love should grow  
Vaster than empires, and more slow._

– ANDREW MARVELL: 'To His Coy Mistress'

_  
'Are people born wicked?  
Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?'_

– STEPHEN SCHWARTZ, 'No-one Mourns the Wicked'  
(Wicked the Musical)

**  
– CHAPTER ONE –  
A YOUTHFUL DREAM**

The dark times lying ahead seemed like a hazy vision of a far distant future. The ones who were desperately waiting to meet their fate could not foresee that they would be fighting for their lives all too soon. They started out on a journey to chase their clouded dreams, not knowing what evil was covered by the mists of time and what harm would come upon them as they longed to fulfil their destiny.

Back in 1969, the rays of light shone brighter as they danced upon the rippled water of the Great Lake. The voices of the creatures living in the depths of the Forbidden Forest, echoed through the air. The first flowers had begun to blossom and a fresh breeze crossed the wide and wild estates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Spring had evolved itself into an early summer, but no-one could enjoy the heat and the sweet smell of the flowers. Every single student at Hogwarts had to work hard for his or her exams at the end of the year, but concentrating on homework was a tough thing to do, with the upcoming summer holidays in mind. The seventh years, especially, seemed to be sick and tired of sticking their heads into boring _Spell_ or _Transfiguration_ books. It was only the thought of the strong impact their qualifications would have on their future careers that kept each of them dedicated to the task.

Nevertheless, young Narcissa Black took herself out of the library and sat down under one of the giant trees, disposing her school bag right beside her. The wind played with a loose strand of her blonde, curly hair, as she watched the view over the mountains and the lake, blinking at the sunlight that pierced her bright blue eyes. She stroked the wild curl back behind her ear, then turned her attention towards _The Ring of Stones: A History of Medieval Sorcery_ by Cicero Pompey that was lying in her lap. She took a deep and satisfying breath of warm air. Glad to have escaped the deadly dullness of the library, she opened the leather bound book and flipped through it until she found the paragraph. 

– _In the earliest centuries of magical history, Muggles broadly mistook witches ('Priestesses') and wizards ('Druids') as celestial, heaven-sent instruments of an omnipotent and non-human source of power. The 'Gifted Ones' were considered to be enchanted by a greater power or god – although the reason for the very existence of Magic is still an unsolved mystery – and shall provide magical as well as non-magical creatures with their supernatural services. Willingly Muggles followed the magical lead and embraced the wisdom and knowledge (otherwise they would not have been able to survive these rough times, for their own knowledge was rather limited in any way)._

_The separation, resulting in the complete hiding of the wizarding community, began as new ideas, introduced by Muggle scholars from the European continent, swept across the country and took hold of the Muggle population. Soon enough, Sorcery (now referred to as the 'Old Ways') changed places with an ominous, obviously imagined god and, for no reason, Muggles began to distaste wizarding services, fearing a dreadful punishment from their new, 'more powerful' god._

_Historian researchers believe that a lack of faith in Magic and Magic-users has led to this crucial, yet critical change of heart, for even witchcraft and wizardry have their limits._

_After Eilan's death in 98 A.D., her half-blood son Gawen had to stay at Glastonbury with Caillean, who soon became one of the most gifted witches of her time. She had risen to power as the High-priestess of Vernemeton and trained Gawen in the Arts of Magic. Both were believed to have saved Britain from the first Saxon invasion, but as Gawen died in battle, killed by a non-magical Saxon warrior, word spread that he had been abandoned by the gods and therefore lost his magical powers –_

'C'mon, Rockwood, you can't be serious!'

Suddenly she stopped dead, looking up, wildered by the sound of male voices coming her way. Carefully watching the approach of the small group of seventh year Slytherins, she hid her face behind her book. Narcissa stayed unnoticed as they walked past her arguing. From the few words she had picked up, she knew they were talking about the Polyjuice Potion recipe they needed to learn by heart for their Potions examination by the end of the month.

'Highly unfair,' one boy moaned. His podgy, somehow slobbery appearance reminded her of a giant baby. She remembered Bellatrix referring to him as Goyle.

'From your point of view,' said a thin, almost gaunt boy, who looked quite offended by the other's words. 'Once you know the ingredients and their special characteristics, it's easy to memorise the recipe.'

'Let's not forget that you're rather gifted with Potions, Rockwood', said a third, calm voice. Narcissa knew that voice and her heart seemed to jump violently into her mouth. 'Plus the Professor's treating you as his favourite,' he added and gestured his friends to sit down on one of the rare benches near the shore.

Her heart was still drumming violently against her chest and she feared he might hear it beating. The sound of his voice felt like healing balm to Narcissa's young soul. It was the incarnation of the most pleasant dreams which came to her every night before she fell asleep, making her life worthwhile. She cast curious side glances at his tall, imposing figure and whenever he seemed to look her way, she quickly returned to a page in her book. After a while, she caught herself reading and rereading the same passage in her book over and over again without getting the bare meaning of the words. She was too distracted by the elegance with which he flicked his wand to perform a Stunning Spell on a passing Hufflepuff – who toppled over and landed with his face pressed into the green grass – his cool, almost icy, but handsome smile, while his friends broke into foolish laughter. After all, she had to admit that his appearance was most pleasing to her eye.

But all her dreaming was a short-lived pleasure that ended abruptly when her sister, Andromeda Black, sank onto the grass beside her, a crumpled paper bag in her hand. Narcissa nearly jumped out of her skin, not at all prepared for her older sister to show up so surprisingly.

'Cissy, I thought you might be hungry?' Andromeda commented with a beaming smile, obviously not noticing that she had disturbed her little sister. 'I fetched some sandwiches, Chocolate Frogs and Butterbeer for you. Here, take it!'

She presented the large paper bag with the colourful letters of the Honeydukes candy shop on it to Narcissa, who immediately dropped her edition of The Ring of Stones in mild surprise, frowning.

'Thank you.'

Narcissa took the bag out of her hands and stared at the various sweets inside it. Obviously, when Andromeda and her classmates had visited Hogsmeade, her sister had spent every last Knut left of her short pocket money on sweets and candies. Narcissa knew instantly, what this was all about. Narcissa who was currently attending third year of Hogwarts, had not been allowed to visit the village. Her parents had refused to sign the permission form, after she had instigated a rough quarrel about Druella's lack of respect towards her children one night at dinner. She could remember Bellatrix spitting her mouthful of tomato soup across the dinner table. In the aftermath, Narcissa knew it had been a foolish thing to do, for, her father, Cygnus had Cruciatused her back into her bedroom and kept her locked up for the greater part of the summer holidays; ever since, Narcissa wanted to prove that she was a good child. Only Andromeda seemed to feel sorry for her sister and tried to cheer her up whenever possible. At the beginning, Narcissa had appreciated her sympathy, but by the turn of the year, she had grown exhausted by Andromeda's constant share of sorrow.

Without losing another word, Andromeda pulled out the last issue of the Daily Prophet from the inside of her cloak and started studying the front page. The large headline read MYSTERIOUS DISAPPREARANCES IN SOMERSET – MINISTRY OF MAGIC AT A LOSS. Beneath the headline, Narcissa caught a glimpse of a photograph of three young men, smiling at the Prophet's reader from out of their picture.

Andromeda's voluminous brown hair framed her rounded face in curly cascades like the frames of the old oil paintings that stuck to the walls of Uncle Orion's house in London. Her lips started to move silently, as her eyes sprung from one line to another, an unbreakable desire sparkling within the faint brown green of her iris.

Her mind had drifted apart, blossoming with every word she read, as if it made her wiser, and Narcissa knew, that she should not interrupt her. To be honest with herself, she was glad Andromeda was too distracted to pester her with her mothering any further. Rousing her from her thoughts would only mean new acts of charity and Narcissa was too fed up with those.

Narcissa's fingertips found the brims of her own book again and she opened it, pulling up her inconspicuous disguise again. But when she risked another glance to see more of the Slytherin boys, they had gone, like they had vanished into thin air.

Disappointment overcame her and fury pulsed through her veins like some terrible creature, threatening to take hold of her. It took all her self-control to cool down her hot temper to its usual level of frustration. Silently, she cursed Andromeda's mere presence that had brought her down to earth so cruelly. Was this part of her parent's plan to punish their daughter, because of a naïve and thoughtless slip of Narcissa's tongue? She couldn't pretend Bellatrix to be any better, but for now, she liked the idea of hexing Andromeda into oblivion.

'James, wait!'

The figure of Sirius Black shot past the two sisters like a dark arrow, running after a boy with just as dark, but messy hair. Narcissa sighed deeply and shook her head, her frustration now turning from Andromeda to her strange cousin.

Sirius is such a bloke,' she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, as she watched her cousin chase the Potter boy along the slippery shore of the lake. 'No wonder he ended up in Gryffindor.'

'So what's the matter?' Andromeda asked cheerfully without turning her eyes from the newspaper. 'You better eat your snacks or your Chocolate Frogs will melt away like ice in the sunshine.'

Narcissa shot a glance at her.

'Just because Bella is busy with her studies, you don't have to take over the big-sister-role in this play!' she answered tartly, while she drew her wand from the inside of her black school robes. After softly tipping the bag from Honeydukes with it, a Chocolate Frog jumped into her outstretched hand and began to unwrap itself.

'It was all well-meant, Cissy,' Andromeda said in a voice of self-defence. 'Besides, I'm going to be of age within the next year, so you better learn some respect.'

Their eyes met and then, all of a sudden, Andromeda roared with laughter, stretched out one hand and nudged the tip of her sister's nose with her forefinger. Narcissa knew she was making fun of her and felt deeply offended by her amusement.

'Little Cissy,' she said teasingly.

'Stop it!' Narcissa snarled.

But Andromeda would not listen. Andromeda nudged her nose again and again, laughing even harder every time she did it. Narcissa was getting annoyed and felt the heat of rage bubbling up inside her. She had come out for some peace of mind, but now she was hard press to keep a grip on herself. All she wanted was a break from her constant mothering!

'I said, stop it. Stop it!' Narcissa shouted angrily. 'Stop!'

'OUCH!'

Narcissa did not realise what had happened, until she felt drops of warm blood under her fingernails. She had jolted Andromeda away, her nails scratching the soft skin on the back of sister's hand.

Suddenly, a smothering silence weighted upon them. Andromeda returned to her article in the Daily Prophet, determined to overhear and ignore both Narcissa and the painful looking and bleeding wounds like they were nothing.

'I need to – err – finish my essay on – err – Boggarts for Slughorn. I can't afford to show up at his next Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson without my homework again,' said Narcissa.

She knew it was a poor excuse, but Andromeda obviously didn't care too much about her sister's true reason for running off. She didn't even look up from the article when Narcissa got up and stepped out from under the tree's shadow.

Glad that there were no further questions asked, she stuffed Pompey's The Ring of Stones into her school bag and hurried back towards the castle.

---------------------------------

The last days of Narcissa's third year at Hogwarts passed by in a heartbeat, although every single day appeared to be almost the same. Only a few little changes in the nuances of the weather and the amount of homework told her that the end of the year was drawing near. Still, all lessons were just as dry and boring as they always were, apart from History of Magic. Narcissa knew she was the only person far and wide who was actually mad enough to enjoy Professor Binn's teachings, but she didn't care much about her classmates' opinions.

Now and then, Narcissa occasionally caught sight of her oldest sister, Bellatrix Black, when she was out in the Entrance Hall pushing and shoving second years around or showing pictures of her fiancé Rodolphus Lestrange to her best friend Alecto Carrow.

'Oh, you're so lucky, Bella,' Alecto had shouted giggly. Her high-pitched laughter made a cold, unpleasant shiver running down Narcissa's spine and she had hurried past them into the Great Hall.

The atmosphere between Narcissa and Andromeda remained tense and firm. They barely talked and both were determined not to be first to apologise. So Narcissa endured the icy silence between them until the last Saturday before the exams.

Hufflepuff wanted to re-play Slytherin in a return match for the lost Quidditch Cup Finale. After she had heard the news, Andromeda was in an odd mood. As Keeper and the only girl on the team, she obviously disliked the idea of playing against Hufflepuff one more time. She segregated herself from her classmates, rarely showed up in the Slytherin common room and missed supper for three days. Amycus Carrow, Alecto's brother and captain of the Quidditch team, had followed after her once, after her Divination lesson and questioned her about her behaviour. Their conversation ended in a rough duel in the corridor on the second floor and Amycus had Andromeda kicked off of his team. Andromeda had returned to the common room, trying to keep her tears at bay. Narcissa who had been writing an enormously difficult translation for Ancient Runes, looked up surprisingly as she heard her sister's dry sobbing. Their eyes had met and not a second later, Andromeda had flung her arms around her little sister, shedding dreadful tears. Shyly, Narcissa had patted her sister's back and decided that it was time to end their childish conflict. The day Slytherin beat Hufflepuff in Quidditch again, she stayed with her in the Great Hall. Together they drank tea and talked away her sorrow until the lights went out at Hogwarts.

Time wore on mercilessly, disregarding all the difficulties of the young. One day, Narcissa found herself walking stiffly out of the Great Hall without any clue how she had made it through her exams, but she hardly had the time to relax and enjoy herself. She didn't even feel any satisfying relief when she met with Bellatrix and Andromeda in the common room and they readied for the journey home the next day. Bellatrix seemed to be asleep at the switch and became wearisome to her sisters, as if her thoughts had carried her off to a far away paradise. Every now and then, Andromeda would casually address her with the words, 'What's wrong?' but Bellatrix would merely make a jerky movement and would continue stuffing her belongings into her trunk.

Narcissa had just folded her school robes together and began to collect her quills and roles of parchment, when Bellatrix announced that she would be off for a while. 'Anyone surprised?' Andromeda murmured under her breath after her sister had rushed out of the dungeons.

They were late for the last supper of the term and found their eldest sister sitting at the far end of the Slytherin table, beleaguered by an entire bunch of sixth and seventh years. From the corner of her eye, Narcissa recognised him standing between Augustus Rockwood and Amycus Carrow, laughing at a low-levelled joke by the Slytherin Queen, Bellatrix. It made her skin prickle awkwardly.

Andromeda didn't seem to pay any attention to what Bellatrix was doing and thus concentrated on Narcissa again. Obviously she wanted to prevent her sister to die from starvation and loaded both their plates with a ton of mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts and a cloth-sized steak. Her expression was blank and unreadable as she drowned the sprouts in some sort of mushroom sauce.

When everybody finished their meals, the golden plates vanished from the house tables; noisy conversation raised everywhere in the Great Hall and Bellatrix finally got up from the other end of the Slytherin table and joined her sisters.

'Everything alright?' she asked in her most casual tone, but she wore a smile as if she possessed a wisdom that was far beyond her sisters.

'Of course,' Narcissa said in the coldest voice she could manage and eyed Bellatrix critically. 'And you? Having fun by making after-school appointments for sex with your old buddies?'

All colour drained from both Andromeda's and Bellatrix's faces and she somehow loved the scandalised looks they were giving her.

'What?' Bellatrix asked in disbelief. 'What's the matter with you?'

'Oh, please!' Narcissa retorted. 'I've figured you out, Bella! You have a healthy hunger and just love your little affairs. You'd use any possible opportunity to hurt somebody's feelings, wouldn't you?'

Her sisters exchanged glances and raised their eyebrows questioningly.

'Merlin's beard, what are you talking about?' Bellatrix asked coolly and settled down on the bench beside her, her eyebrows still narrowed in confusion.

Suddenly, Narcissa tossed her head around to face her.

'You know perfectly well what I'm talking about!' she said. 'You know I have a, well, special interest in a boy from your class and what do you do? Go and charm him with your femininity.'

Bellatrix blinked and then the words slowly made it through. A smile started to spread across the lines of her face and she shook her head.

'Oh, Cissy, you're so imaginative!' she said. Her smile faded into a smirk and became amused laughter at last. 'Truly imaginative. You don't honestly think I'd do such things just to hurt my precious little sister? Believe me, I'm squarely satisfied with my liaison with Rodolphus. Besides, he's absolutely not my type.'

'Oh,he's not your type, ' Andromeda mocked Bellatrix suddenly. Once in a while, a sister that shares your opinion could come in handy, Narcissa thought.

'You guys have some sort of alliance?' Bellatrix said offended. 'And you, Dromeda, you shut up, because you have the same healthy hunger — as Cissy named it so well and precisely — that I have, don't you?'

Andromeda blushed. Narcissa knew that her sister never did get along with each other, but this exclamation didn't seem to have something to do with the subject at hand. Narrowing her eyes, she shot glances at Bellatrix and Andromeda, who had both become very quiet.

'You're like a visitation of the plague!' she said finally, stood up and returned to the dungeons without looking back. She couldn't stand the sight of them any longer.

Why couldn't life be much easier that this?

---------------------------------

Narcissa woke to her name the next morning and found Andromeda beside her, her hands on her upper arm.

'C'mon!' she said somewhat nervous. 'We're already late. I got your things into the common room, but you better get going.'

Blinking against the bright sunlight that had found its way into the dormitory, Narcissa sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. After her morning hygiene, she joined her classmates and siblings and together they readied to leave the castle.

Bellatrix chose to stay close to her sisters instead of playing the Slytherin Queen one last time. Narcissa had a faint feeling why she had come to this conclusion. Undoubtedly their argument on the previous evening had something to do with it. But Bellatrix would not say a word to neither Narcissa, nor Andromeda.

And so they walked in silence as they dragged their luggage into Hogsmeade station and boarded the shiny crimson train that made greyish steam rise into the perfect summer sky above. They entered a compartment and started to store their trunks in the racks above the seats when Narcissa felt that something was amiss. And this didn't mean the chilly atmosphere in the cabin.

'Have you seen my necklace?' she asked, as touched her neck nervously.

'What necklace?' Bellatrix asked in return, but her bored voice made perfectly clear that she had no ambition to help.

'The one Aunt Cassiopeia has given me on my first day at Hogwarts!' shouted Narcissa and kneeled down to search the cabin floor for the tiniest glimpse of nacre. 'Oh no, I must have dropped it somewhere!'

'What's so special 'bout this knickknack token? It's all but disgusting and as ugly as sin,' Bellatrix retorted. Narcissa shot an angry glance at her, but she knew her sister would not understand what the token really meant to her. Old Cassiopeia had presented the necklace to her right before the family had taken off to King's Cross station the year she had first come to Hogwarts. It stood for freedom; being released from home to do whatever she liked the moment she liked without being monitored by her hysterical mother and a sadistic father. No wonder Bellatrix did not know of such things. She had always been their parent's favourite.

'I'll help you find it,' said Andromeda and opened the rusty compartment door. 'I'll go left, you go right. Don't worry, we'll find it. But we must do it quickly, there're only ten minutes left before the train departs!'

Narcissa nodded and hurried down the coach, her eyes fixed to the floor. Her heart drummed in an unsteady and sickening beat in her chest. She would never forgive herself if she had lost the precious thing. What had made her so distracted and thoughtless that she had ended up losing it?

Without warning, a giant shadow appeared right before her and she was already too close to stop in her tracks. She heard a male voice yell in surprise rather than pain, when she dumped into someone. The smell of expensive cologne tickled her nose and she felt a soft black fabric on her cheek. For a second she was too confused to think, but then cognition and recognition stroke her like a thunder bolt. She knew that smell!

'May I help you?' he asked her with his smooth and calm voice and looked down on her small and slender figure. He wore a faint smile and his grey eyes were so intense, she could hardly breathe. Most of the seventh years looked like foolish school boys beside him, because he was already a man. His pale blond hair merely touched his strong shoulders and underlined his actuated chin. If she could only fall into his embrace and lean against his broad chest, so he would keep her safe.

'I-I-,' she stuttered and backed away. 'I-I was... searching for... Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you!'

The corner of his mouth twisted.

'Believe me, it would take a lot more than a thinly little girl to hurt me,' he said. 'So, is there any reason you ran into me, or do you have a habit of running into people without being asked to?'

Narcissa felt addlebrained and sheepish. Did he take any offend in her unintended attack or was he making fun of her?

'I was searching for a nacre necklace. It's really worthy to me,' she explained in a small voice, although she was annoyed by the embarrassment she felt inside. 'Have you seen it?'

'Oh, you mean this?'

He raised his arm and held the necklace in his hands. The white pearls shone brightly and sparkled as always. 'I somehow knew there must be an owner to this thing. To be honest, I didn't think of returning it, but instead giving it to some beautiful woman who deserves to wear such a treasure. Hmm. But apparently it shall find its way back into its owner's hands.'

He threw it towards her as if it was some cheap gimcrack that was now worthless to him. Afraid the necklace might be stained with the dirt of the floor, Narcissa hurried to stretch out her hands and grab it as firmly as possible in midair.

'Thank you.'

'Yes, yes,' he said waving his hand indifferently. 'And now: get lost.'

Baffled by his attitude, she took five steps back and stared at him in shock. How could it be that he was so much the opposite of what she had thought of him? Pain flooded her entire being, pain like she had never felt it before. She could feel her own heart break like it belonged to someone else. But still, she felt an irresistible desire to burst into tears, and yet she could not cry. She did not want to cry in front of him! What a fool she had been to believe that her youthful dreams about him would come true someday. She could no longer deceive herself: He would never return her special interest in him and his heart would never beat just for her. She was nothing to him. To him, she was a nobody.

His eyebrows raised, encouraging her to run from him as fast as she could. And so she did.

I won't be weak. I won't be weak. No, I won't show no weakness, she kept telling herself, desperately hoping to believe her own words. I won't give in to weakness!

When she came back to the compartment, the Hogwarts Express had already left Hogsmeade station and picked up speed. Andromeda turned her eyes on her and nodded in appreciation, when she saw the necklace safely in Narcissa's hand. Bellatrix had taken a seat by the window and stared outside into the sunlit beauty of nature and tried not to notice her sister.

Narcissa let Andromeda push her into the seat beside her and force a Chocolate Frog into her hand. But still, she felt wretched, emotionally exhausted, and she could not remember a day in the thirteen years of her life that had been so miserable.

Was he the sentence for a crime she didn't even know she had committed it? Everything kept reminding her, that no matter how hard she tried and no matter how much love she carried inside her young and passionate heart, she would never call Lucius Malfoy her own. And that thought was more painful and more agonising than any Cruciatus Curse that had ever been cast upon her.

___------------ to be continued_


	3. Shared Wisdom

**CHAPTER 2: SHARED WISDOM**

After they had left King's Cross station, Bellatrix brought her sisters safely back home by Side-Along-Apparation. As the moment of daze and dizziness passed away, Narcissa recognised the rugged landscape of the coast of Cornwall. The sunset coloured the sky with shades of red, gold and a slight touch of night blue, while the seagulls rose into the air like tiny black dots on a perfect painting. In the distance, she could hear the tide crush against the cliffs, as the wind carried the salty smell of the sea across the plain. She turned her head slightly and saw the remains of Tintagel Castle stand against the sky like a gleaming silhouette. It was an idyll too perfect to be real.

The three sisters held their breaths and watched the sun set peacefully upon the mighty ocean. All disagreements and arguments were forgotten for this peaceful moment.

'Enjoy this beauty,' Bellatrix said thoughtfully. 'Soon, things will be different, in more ways than one.'

Narcissa didn't know what she meant by this and she didn't care either. She was just glad to feel a little lighter. Since she had run into Lucius Malfoy, she had not been able to feel anything at all.

Anything, but heartache.

They continued their walk down a roughly paved road, dragging their trunks along with them. They walked for a few minutes, before the little _Art Nouveau_ house of the Black family suddenly appeared ahead of them like a Fata Morgana. Narcissa remembered that her parent's house was protected by countless security enchantments that prevented Muggles from locating it and Magic Folks from entering by Apparation. Only a pureblooded member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was permitted to step across this particular threshold.

Yes, Cygnus and Druella Black liked isolation.

One of the house-elves opened the front door and led the sisters into the dining room, while another took care of their luggage. As they entered, their mother stood by the dinner table and waved her wand like a conductor's baton to rearrange a bouquet.

'Welcome home,' she said without looking at her daughters, but undoubtedly, excitement had crept itself into her voice. 'Your father will be with us in a few minutes.'

She welcomed Andromeda and Narcissa with a short kiss from her thin lips on their foreheads, and then hugged Bellatrix tightly. An odd smile spread across her face, her eyes sparkled and her breast seemed to swell with pride. Narcissa had never seen a similar expression on her mother's face before and she had to admit that she did not like it. An icy cold shiver worked its way down her spine, as if someone had doused her with cold water. Narcissa pressed her lips together until they became a slim line. The glow on Druella's face, that pervading beam of light, made it plain to her that she could never wake such feelings in her mother. Neither Andromeda, nor Narcissa would live up to her expectations. And yet, Narcissa could not stop trying.

They sat down and the house-elves made sugar, milk and four cups filled with tea appear on the table.

Druella had been planning on her daughter's wedding ever since Bellatrix had been officially engaged to Rodolphus Lestrange, last Christmas.

She asked Bellatrix about big bands, hair dresses and wedding gowns. She even showed her several samples of fabric, each in a different colour.

'I prefer the silky violet for the bridesmaids' dresses, but if you are more into this yellow ochre velvet…' Druella said and gestured hectically. 'Oh, and don't worry about the paperwork. I had an owl send to Ophiuchus Marblebone, an old friend of mine, who works in the Department for the Registration of Magical Marriages and Divorces at the Ministry. Your bond will be certified as soon as the wedding vows are exchanged. You and Rodolphus will receive a copy via owl.'

Narcissa tried to look interested, but she could hardly concentrate. All this talking about dresses, dishes, shoes and music made her feel dizzy.

Half an hour later, Cygnus redeemed his daughters when he stepped out of the fireplace in the living room and joined them. When he entered, he was still knocking ash and dust of his Prussian blue cape.

As soon as he had taken his seat at the head of the table, their plates filled with codfish. They did not talk until the last spoonful of dessert had been swallowed. The three sisters leaned back in their chairs and sighed in unison. The satisfying sensation, when all blood drained from the brain, rushing down into the stomach to digest, made Narcissa feel sleepy and numb. The spicy smelling smoke that puffed out of Cygnus's pipe was doing the rest.

'You two,' Druella said, pointing at Andromeda and Narcissa. 'Please go — unpack your things now and then get to rest for the night. We're awaiting a special guest tomorrow and I want you to be refreshed from your journey.'

The two sisters looked at each other in confusion.

'A guest?' Andromeda asked, looking puzzled. 'We're not talking about Callidora or Aunt Dorea? Grandfather? Grandmother?'

'No,' said Druella, and stared down into her tea cup as if she was trying to read the tea leaves. 'Not one of our relatives, Dromeda. You know, there is still an awful lot of work to do until our Bella is getting married. And we don't want her sisters to embarrass her, themselves and the entire family on Bella's great day, do we? So, I invited Madame Lorraine to give you a little – err – extra education.'

'Extra education?' asked Andromeda, her eyebrows narrowed in disbelief. 'What education, we have just returned from Hogwarts!'

'This is not about spells and broomsticks, my dear. This is about grace, elegance and _etiquette_, so, everything you have not been gifted with, unfortunately.'

Andromeda's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Narcissa blinked at her mother in stupefaction.

A soft giggling broke the stunned silence and Narcissa shot a glance at Bellatrix. Her sister tried hard to behave herself, but she did not succeed in keeping herself from roaring with nasty laughter. Narcissa should have expected the blushing bride to have known of Madame Lorraine's visit. And so she was not at all surprised, when she learned that the oldest Black sister had found herself a way to wiggle around the Madame's odd training.

'There is so much work to do, still,' Bellatrix said, repeating her mother's word, but her smile gave away her malicious joy in the mischief of her sisters.

The next morning, Narcissa nearly fell out of her bed when someone suddenly knocked hard against her bedroom door. From the corridor, her mother's shrill voice ordered her to wash and dress up nicely before she could come downstairs for breakfast. Narcissa mumbled an annoyed affirmation from under her blanket; she just wanted to fall into sleep's welcoming embrace of nothingness again. But Narcissa did not have much of a choice and so she crawled out of her cosy bed and readied for the day.

Their guest stepped out of the emerald flames in the fireplace at precisely ten o'clock. Her clothes made her look like a visitor from the late nineteenth century. Her face and her slender built made her look like a fragile doll, but her appearance was deceiving. She dropped a curtsy to Druella and Cygnus with a polite smile and then turned around to inspect her new protégés.

'Oh, look how beautiful you are, my little duckies!' she said and pinched Narcissa's cheek. 'Just like raw diamonds that wait to be ground.'

She presented a small business card to Andromeda and Narcissa, still wearing her pearl-white smile of courtesy. The sisters looked down on the squiggly writing on the card that read:

_Madame Lyra Lorraine's  
__School of Traditional Dances and Upper-Class Conduct  
_"_We'll make you chance for good"_

Madame Lorraine didn't seem to notice the sceptical looks that Andromeda and Narcissa exchanged. They were sure that they were about to experience lessons they would never get at Hogwarts.

As soon as the elderly woman had thrown her hat and her turquoise shawl into the arms of a house-elf, she hurried into the living room and drew her wand from the inside of her bolero jacket. There was a flick and the furniture started to move aside and stand upright against the wood panelled wall. Only two purple armchairs remained in the middle of the room, waiting to be used.

'Lesson one,' said Madame Lorraine in a strict voice. '"How to take a seat". Ready, duckies?'

Narcissa learnt how to sit down in various positions and how to cross and uncross her legs properly — she sensed that their chaperone liked shooing them around the living room, due to the exhausting activities she and Andromeda had to endure.

Though Madame Lorraine made it look so easy, Narcissa went to bed with an aching back for a fortnight. And every evening, when the old lady would leave to have dinner with her husband, she always wore a satisfied smile and thanked Druella for the nice time.

'This is a new form of torture!' Andromeda murmured towards Narcissa, so their teacher would not hear her complaining. It was the third week of Madame Lorraine's visits to the Black family and they were now balancing crystal goblets with extraordinarily thin stems with their thumbs, fore fingers and middle fingers. Narcissa narrowed her eyebrows so hard, the muscles on her forehead began to hurt, and sweat started to gather at her temples. She had never imagined that holding a glass lady-like was so physically exhausting. At least she had something to concentrate on, instead of lamenting over Lucius Malfoy and her undesired feelings for him. Sometimes, when she laid in bed thinking about him and the way he had treated her aboard the Hogwarts Express, she stood up again quietly, retrieved a stick from the garden and practised to elegantly flick it like a wand.

On that weekend, Rodolphus Lestrange and his father, Eridanus, paid a visit to the Black family to see if everything was working out fine with the wedding preparations. Druella welcomed them and led them into the living room. Narcissa and Andromeda pushed the couch to its virtual place, while Bellatrix hexed the chairs back into position. Narcissa wished that she was allowed to use Magic as well.

Being the tall, dark haired, pale-skinned figure that he was, Rodolphus lingered across the living room and greeted his fiancée with a kiss that seemed to last for a lifetime. When he finally released Bellatrix, Narcissa noticed that her sister's cheeks had reddened with the heat of passion.

_She does seem to love him,_ Narcissa thought. _Or at least she thinks he's attractive and good enough to satisfy her needs. _Whatever Bellatrix thought of her fiancé, to Narcissa, he had the cursed smile of a scoundrel.

The Lestranges stayed for dinner, and Rodolphus kept holding Bellatrix's hands whenever possible. She smiled at him, an odd sparkle shimmering in her dark and delirious eyes. When Cygnus finally came home from work, he quickly gulped down his meal, then took in a glass of brandy and asked Eridanus to accompany him. Narcissa heard him whisper 'Weddings are for crones in virgins, not for you and me, my friend'. Druella explained her plans for the wedding to Rodolphus who just nodded as if he was not really interested.

'Ah, here we have it: the guest list. There'll be Arcturus and Melania, Igantius and Lucretia, Orion and Walburga and their sons Sirius and Regulus; the bride's grandparents, grandaunt Cassiopeia, Charis and Caspar Crouch. Charis is a cousin of my husband's father, you know. Elderly child,' said Druella and smirked at her son-in-law-to-be. 'Dorea and Charlus Potter, well, I don't think they'll come anyway, but I sent them an invitation, too. Furthermore, we have my brother Macellius and his wife Dierna, and some colleagues and business partners of Cygnus's invited. And,_ of course,_ Bella's closest friends: Alecto and Amycus Carrow, Augustus Rockwood, Lucius Malfoy…'

At the sound of his name, Narcissa's hands started to shake uncontrollably. She felt Bellatrix glance curiously at her youngest sister, but Druella and Rodolphus didn't pay enough attention to notice her trembling, while Andromeda picked her dessert lackadaisically and had departed a while ago.

Without thinking twice, Narcissa pushed her _mousse au chocolat _away, bid Rodolphus and her family good night and hurried upstairs to her bedroom. She tinkered with the idea of reading a few pages in the novel she had ordered via Owl Delivery at Diagon Alley a couple of days ago. But she knew that she could not read right now, not a single word. All her thoughts had gathered around Lucius Malfoy again. However she tried to distract herself, she could not forget the pain he had caused her. He had touched her heart like no-one had touched it ever before, and he had wounded it deeper than anybody else could. The fact that she would never look at him again had been a little soothing, but now she was doomed to be in the same room with him for an entire day. The mere thought of it made her feel like vomiting.

She imagined herself sitting beside him, who suddenly transformed into a dark, smoke-like shadow that slipped through her fingers yelling: '_take that stupid child away from me!'_

The day before the wedding, Cygnus left to stay at the Lestranges' home in Lancaster to attend Rodolphus's stag night and took his father, Pollux Black, along with him. His wife — Cygnus's mother — Irma had insisted on visiting her daughter-in-law, and her grandchildren instead.

'This is a family tradition: no men are allowed in the home of the bride on the eve of her wedding, especially not the groom! He will have his share on the wedding night, anyway,' explained Irma and gave her dark brown cloak to a house-elf. 'I suspect Cygnus and Pollux will be fine. Men, you know. Their thoughts will be as sordid as always. Never mind. No reason for us not to enjoy ourselves tonight, too.'

During the evening, Narcissa noticed once again how peculiarly young her grandmother still was. With her fifty-seven years, she wasn't what one would consider to be an elderly woman who had lived her life, and waited for the breath of Hades to carry her into the arms of Death. Her tough brown hair was pervaded with several silvery strands, her sky blue eyes were ever watchful and seemed to see a truth beyond the surface of each and every thing. She wore her brown costume like a ballroom gown and her lady boots clicked on the parquet like the hooves of a doe. She always sat straight up while she sipped her goblet full of wine. Even though she was not loaded with diamond rings and golden bracelets – which she definitely possessed – she walked the world like a silhouette of royalty, like the High-priestess of Vernemeton herself.

After dinner, they sat by the fireplace in the living room. The summer storm that had reigned over Tintagel all day long had faded and a chilly breeze flooded into the room through an open window. Bellatrix poked a small fire to warm them up, while Andromeda made herself comfortable on the couch. With a Broomstick Servicing Kit in her lap, she began to polish her Quidditch broom. Narcissa, who sat on the floor beside her grandmother's armchair, clung to a cup a warm cocoa. Of course, she could have asked her mother and sister to warm her with a spell, but she liked the quiet atmosphere too much. Casting too many spells would have been like a rude disturbance; the moment had its own kind of magic.

'Oh, such a nasty summer,' Druella said indifferently.

'Hmm…' mumbled Irma who stared into the flames meditatively.

'Hopefully, the weather shall be nice tomorrow. I don't want the canapés to drown in rain.' Druella gave an artificially joyful laugh. 'And the band, I tell you. It is almost impossible to find a violinist who can still play "Requiem for a Dream". It was exhausting, was it not, Bellatrix?' Her oldest daughter hurried to nod in acknowledgement.

'Hmm…' Irma mumbled once more, hardly noticing her daughter-in-law's words. She blinked several times, then her eyes sparkled, as if her mind had just returned to her body from a long journey. She turned her head slightly and tilted it to one side with an inquiring look that Narcissa felt on her neck.

Druella's face twisted and the stirred her tea as loudly as possible, her last desperate hope to catch Irma's attention.

'So,' Irma said finally. 'Narcissa and Andromeda will be the bridesmaids, I assume?' Andromeda looked up surprised and stopped polishing her broom.

'Yes, they will and they'll be lovely. Both of them.'

'You think so?' Irma said rather coolly. She leaned forward, grabbed Narcissa's chin and lifted it to get a clear view on her face. 'Look at this child. Can you believe she's thirteen now? Hardly. This fragile face, the meagre limbs. Like an undernourished Mudblood.'

'She is not _undernourished_,' Druella said bristling with anger, and slammed her cup of tea hard on the vitreous coffee table. The temperature in the room seemed to drop further and Narcissa knew that it had nothing to do with a change of the weather. Bellatrix winced, surprised by her mother's sudden anger and loss of self-control. Cautiously, she laid a hand on Druella's upper arm to calm her down, hiding her true thoughts behind a mask of seriousness.

'Then you should give her some special treatment,' Irma suggested. 'Or she'll be in trouble in the years to come, unless there'll be some magical miracle that makes her a woman. You do agree with me, don't you? No man would look at a skinny _broomstick_.'

'Not every thirteen-year-old girl has to be treated like an adult,' said Druella, still hot under her collar. 'And not every thirteen-year-old girl is ready to be a woman. Maybe she is not as "mature" as you were, and I am happy about it. I would rather like her _not_ to make the mistakes our parents did!'

'Oh, leave it, Druella, will you?' Irma retorted with a bored voice and cut her daughter-in-law off by forcing out a humourless laugh. 'Don't bore me and your daughters with this old hat.'

The two women looked at each other, a grim expression on their faces. Narcissa half-expected them to draw their wands for a duel, but they did not.

'I think, it is time for you to go to bed now,' Druella said to Andromeda and Narcissa at last, her fists clutched so tightly together that her knuckles went white. When her oldest daughter did not move the tiniest bit, she bellowed, 'Bella, you too.'

The three sisters exchanged quick, questioning glances, but none of them dared to object. They had lived in this house and with this family long enough to know that a response of any kind would not be very healthy. In this case it might even be life-threatening.

So they climbed the staircase in silence and returned to their bedrooms. When Bellatrix closed the door of her room behind her, Narcissa realised that this would be her sister's last night in her parent's home. Tomorrow she would be Bellatrix Lestrange, wife of Rodolphus Lestrange.

When Narcissa finally placed her head on a pillow and covered herself with the soft blanket, she still thought of the wedding. Though she had known of her sister's wedding for almost six months, it felt somehow unreal that the day had actually come. She couldn't help but ask herself what her sister felt at the moment. Did she feel anything at all? Did she even care? Narcissa tried to imagine her own wedding, but could not think of a suitable husband, only a human-like shadow.

After a short while, the lights went out and she heard the door of her parent's bedroom open with a squeal. So, her mother had gone to rest as well. Narcissa wondered what had happened in the living room after Druella had sent them to bed. There had been no flashes of red light — no spells being shouted.

Narcissa, on her behalf, did not know if she should feel insulted by Irma's exclamation or not, for her attack had been targeted at Druella. Maybe her choice of words had been unfortunate, but they carried a truth that even Narcissa herself could not deny. She indeed looked like a great child with her slender built, her porcelain skin and the lack of buxom curves. Maybe, if she possessed Bellatrix's — or even Andromeda's — femininity, she could have charmed Lucius right away, but she had not. No matter how hard she tried, she could not be angry at her grandmother.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps in the corridor. Someone was sneaking down the staircase. It could not be Druella, Narcissa would have heard the squealing noise of the door handle and the hinges. Perhaps it was Bellatrix or Andromeda?

With her mind widely awake, Narcissa slipped out of her bed and into a dressing gown, before she opened her bedroom door carefully. She heard the clangour of glass and the voices of the house-elves. Slowly approaching the staircase, Narcissa ducked down to spy into the vestibule. A soft light slipped out of the kitchen from under the door and lit the hall. Cautiously, Narcissa tiptoed down the staircase. The voices quietened; the only sound that remained was the rustling of parchment and the stirring of a spoon. Narcissa held her breath and tried to calm down her heart, then sidled to the kitchen door, bended forward and tried to peek through the keyhole.

'Come in, my dear,' said the voice of Irma Black. 'Narcissa, I know you're there.'

Struck by surprise, Narcissa remained glued to the spot for a moment. Was her grandmother a Seer? How had she known that she was in the corridor? What had given her away? Clearing her throat, Narcissa laid a hand on the door handle and entered. She hoped her cheeks didn't look as hot as they suddenly felt.

Her grandmother sat on a stool and flipped through the _Daily Prophet_, a cup of coffee in one hand. In the far corner stood Avaric, one of the house-elves, and tried not to watch his Mistress while he waited for orders. When the door closed behind Narcissa with a faint sound, Irma looked up and smiled slightly.

'Not good at sleeping, are you, darling?' she asked, but Narcissa knew it was more a statement than a question. 'Same here. Come, sit with an old woman.'

Narcissa opened her mouth to tell Irma that she didn't think of her grandmother as an _old woman_. But Irma had drawn her wand and pointed it at the house-elf like a dagger. 'You! Bring her some coffee, too,' she ordered sharply.

The house-elf trembled.

'Firewhiskey, too, Mistress?' he asked quivering.

Irma shot the house-elf an inquiring glance as if she could hardly believe that he dared to ask her such a stupid question. Loathing was written all over her face.

'She's too young, you piece of vermin. The law restricts alcohol to adolescents until their seventeenth birthday!' Irma bellowed. Then, a humourless smile curled the corner of her mouth. 'Of course, she gets Odgen's Finest in her coffee.'

'Oh, no, thank you,' said Narcissa and waved her hands to decline the offer. 'I don't think this is a good idea.'

'Trust me, darling, you're going to sleep like you have never slept before,' Irma insisted. She clicked her fingers and the elf hurried away instantly to fetch a bottle of Firewhiskey.

'Ah,' Irma said as if she had just remembered something, she conjured another stool and gestured Narcissa to sit beside her. The youngest Black walked over slowly and took a seat, her legs crossed like Madame Lorraine had taught her.

They sat in silence for a moment, and Narcissa wondered if her grandmother was waiting for her to start the conversation, or if she wanted her to stay quiet. Irma had returned to the _Daily Prophet_ and continued to read the article.

'Err–,' Narcissa said cautiously. 'May I ask you a question?'

'You already did, Cissy,' her grandmother said without looking up. 'But you may pose another one, if you wish.'

'Well, then…' Narcissa began anew. 'I was wondering ­– err – why did you and Mother argue tonight? You know, when she said that I am less mature then you, when you were my age. That she didn't want me to make the mistakes your generation made.'

Irma finally lifted her gaze from the newspaper and Narcissa recognised a sparkle in her blue eyes. Obviously she had got her grandmother truly interested.

'Oh, that,' Irma said smiling. Though her smile seemed artificial, Narcissa had the impression that her counterpart had hoped for her to pose this particular question. 'Now, that's a long story. I remember it like it was just yesterday!'

Narcissa raised her eyebrows. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, you and I know that your mother thinks I'm dingy and perverse. She believes that I've corrupted Pollux and stained the honour of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Ridiculous.' Irma waved her hand. 'She doesn't want you and your sisters to make any stupid mistake that might embarrass you or the family's honour. She believes that she can keep harm away from you, if she tries hard enough. Pathetic, if you ask me. You and Bellatrix and Andromeda will make your own mistakes, she can not prevent that. She couldn't, even if she'd Imperiused the three of you to do as she wished. I guess that is the same reason why she doesn't want you to grow up. As long as you're a child, she has the say and she decides what is best for you. But I believe, I hope, you're sharp-minded enough to not let her have control over your life, Narcissa.'

She took a draught from her Firewhiskey laced coffee, while Avaric returned and put down a cup in front of Narcissa who felt her own heart rise in youthful anticipation, but she did not dare to interrupt Irma. She had the faint impression that Irma had not talked about this to neither Bellatrix, nor Andromeda. When Avaric disappeared, her grandmother continued and Narcissa listened with great care.

'You see, when Pollux and I were young, naïve and innocent fools during our third year — we had feelings for each other that extended beyond "friendship". We even selected the same subjects, so we could spend more time together. On Fridays, we would have Care of Magical Creatures. One day, we stayed a little longer than we should have and sneaked into the Forbidden Forest. He kissed me for the first time. I had never been so happy in my life. And then, well, let's say that we got carried away.'

Narcissa stared at her, not sure if she wanted to hear more. Trying to hide away her tentativeness, she grabbed her cup and sipped. Irma's eyebrows raised in interest, when Narcissa forced the swallow down her throat and began coughing and choking suddenly. The Firewhiskey seemed to burn her from the inside and sickening warmth crawled up and down her gullet.

'Is everything all right, darling?' Irma asked.

Narcissa hurried to nod in affirmation, struggling to keep the gulp of coffee in her stomach. She gave a last, dry cough, and then waited for her grandmother to carry on with her story.

'In the ensuing weeks, we always met in the secrecy of the Forbidden Forest. Oh, don't worry; we never went in to deeply, just far enough to be all by ourselves. Once in a while, we talked, but most of the time we made love. At least until I found that he had given me a child out of wedlock.'

Narcissa blushed and wished that she had never asked her grandmother about this. Taking another, nervous quencher from her cup she tried not to give away her disgust for the drink. She couldn't believe she was having such a conversation with Irma.

'Of course, Violetta was out of her mind when she received Professor Dippet's letter with his deepest congratulations. As you can possibly imagine, I had to leave Hogwarts. My parents brought me and my few belongings over to the Black's house. They lived in London, too, not far away from Grimmauld Place. Mother and Father wanted Violetta and Cygnus Black to help me raise the child and pay for its education and so forth. Pollux and I, we didn't care. Being the mother of his child and his wife was far more than I'd ever dared to expect from the Black family.'

'But you are a pureblood, aren't you?'

'Of course I am, but this was not about blood, Cissy! Imagine one your class friends leaving their education, because he or she made a stupid mistake. Imagine it was you! What would you think, what would you do? No, Narcissa, this was not about blood. This was about honour and grandeur; about growing up and finding your place in society. And if there's one thing I've learned from life, it this: never expect too much for yourself!'

'That is why your mother will never come to rest, not even in death. Marrying my son was sort of working her way up the ladder, but she somehow forgot that she was not born under the name of Black. All this _whoop-de-doo_ about Bellatrix's wedding makes me believe she is trying to pour oil on troubled water. She always wants more. More money, more robes, ever-lasting dignity, upper-class education, husbands for her daughters. She wants to stop history from repeating itself and I doubt that Druella is strong enough to bare disgrace like Violetta.'

Throwing her head back, Irma emptied her cup and sighed in satisfaction. Narcissa was at a loss of words. She did not know how to react to the story she had been told just now. What was she to say at a moment of significance?

'Well, we shall rest now. But mark my words, Narcissa, and keep your eyes open and your ears sharp. Weddings and funerals are like a bazaar of nasty secrets. If you listen carefully enough, you'll discover them. And maybe they will grant you an advantage,' said Irma and looked at her granddaughter warmly. Her eyes became watery and she stretched out her hand to stroke the soft skin of Narcissa's cheek. 'At least Druella got one thing right. You are not like me. You are the person that I never was, but always wished to be. Still so young and innocent, and pure.'

Narcissa swallowed and stared at Irma blankly, as her grandmother raised from her stool and bowed down to place a kiss on her granddaughter's forehead.

'Pleasant dreams, my lovely one. Try and let your heart not be troubled by the cruelty of life. Your time will come soon enough.'

-------------to be continued


End file.
